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I sincerely request that you step away from the keyboard until after valentines day (memes.memedroid.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 43 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Print that email out on a large poster board and display it by your front door as you hand out king size candy.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

    How about a wearable poster board print out with a giant red NO stamped on it in faux blood as your costume. You can stay at home or walk the neighborhood, handing out full sized bars.

    Want to be a real extra contrarian? Build a "candy stand" made of the print out. Add castor wheels and a loud speaker and flashing lights. Finally, add a button kids can slap that shouts "fffuuullll sssiiizzeedd bbbbbaaarrrrrsssss!!! at max legal volume. Roll it from HOA leader house to HOA leader house as the night carries on.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

    A mobile candy station? They'd never make it out alive. 😱🤣

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (3 children)

    Ohh yeah, you better be rolling deep in full sized bars. It better basically be a large pallet of candy pretending to be a candy stand. You will have an army of insane 5-11 year olds slapping the shit out of that button for hours, and you gotta be able to keep the magic going to match maximum obnoxiousness.

    You'll have to be a goddamn hero to those children, a being of endless chocolate, to really, really shame whatever adult though this was a reasonable request.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (2 children)

    I mean, at that point, you might as well put up a market tent in the drive to cover the patio heater, spiced cake donuts, and pony keg of cider for the parents.* Make it a block (the fuckin' trolls) party!

    *if anecdotal evidence is permitted, (no HOA bitches in our area) the next year half a dozen neighbors did the same. 🥳

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