You'll have to pry my ability to do stupid shit from my cold dead handsääääääää

I mean, I really like the zig approach. It usually turns into “the caller is responsible for managing the memory”

But then when I’m the caller I sweat a little.

Police fans say the same thing about the police.

Garbage collection doesn't solve the problem either, cause it's too unpredictable and typically doesn't even give you the option to close resources when memory is reclaimed. So just opening SQL connections and forgetting to close them will quickly drain the connection pool.