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Rethinking the Language of “Narcissistic Abuse”: Why the Words We Use Matter - Lived Experience Educator (www.livedexperienceeducator.com)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
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Just wanted to pop this article in here to help reduce incidents of friendly fire within the neurodiverse community. People with ASD and NPD face a common struggle against neuronormativity. We even face similar stereotypes about how we act! So the self-help scammers trying to turn autistic people against narcissistic people are actively harming the entire community.

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[–] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My take is that personality disorders are just psychology's way of saying, " We give up," but I think you can often recontenxtualize as a PD as a regular diagnosis that is "treatable".

Where as autism really is just a different way of experiencing the world.

So, being a treatable result of abuse or neglect, NPD isn't something I'd want to be build my identity around.

And how does the ability of people to hurt you without meaning to square with this artificiality you feel? If it's all artificial, it wouldn't make sense to be personally hurt.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    You know kintsugi, the Japanese art with broken pots and gold?

    The way I see it, My abuse is like the cracks. My NPD is like the gold. My NPD put Me back together again after My parents broke Me.

    I'm always going to be broken, but I can be whole and broken at the same time. I like the Myselves that My NPD helped Me make. I like Myself better than if I were a boring normal pot that never broke. I'm a shiny and interesting pot. And I'm living a genuinely great life.

    Yesterday I drank nectar from a flower! I learned it from an Aboriginal teacher on Country. I'm happy. I have a family I love, and they love Me. I made it Myself.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    I love kintsugi and the metaphor is provides us.

    But I guess I don't see NPD as any kind of gold. It's more like a cast you put on a broken leg to protect it. Eventually, you want to get rid of the cast so you can run again.

    I'm glad you're in a better place now.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 month ago*

    I can't become an egotypical, I'm always going to have the abilities I developed in response to the abuse. Empathy control. Ego-shapeshifting. Hell, I'm plural because of My NPD! I have multiple stable selves I grew!

    And I wouldn't want to give up those abilities. I can do strange and wonderful things with My mind because I am something other than a person. I don't want to be like you, I want to be like Me. If a conversion therapy existed, I wouldn't want it.

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