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mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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What should I do (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 month ago by Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/48324879

I really want to start HRT, but I'm scared I'll regret not doing sperm freezing first. The problem is it's expensive and I'm still on my parents' insurance while I'm in university and coming out to them did not go very well. I've already put it off for like 2 years because of this and I'm getting so tired of waiting. I'm also really really worried about losing my hair if I don't start soon because my family has a history of baldness on both sides

I feel like these are my options:

Just start HRT and if I really want a non-adopted child I can try pausing and hope that works. Plus adoption is probably ethically a better choice anyway

Pay out of pocket for a mail order service like Legacy (which I've read both good and bad things about). It would be a lot of money but I could pay for it. I'm just worried they might not be as trustworthy as a local place

Wait even longer to have the money to pay for storage at a local bank. People say they tend to be better but the one near me is so much more expensive

Try to come out to my parents again so I can use insurance. They weren't like as bad as some people's experiences when I tried the first time, but all my mom would talk about is complaining about how this will affect her because she claims her "identity is having a son" and she doesn't want me to "mutilate my body" and my dad wasn't actively mean but didnt like try to get her to be nice or really say much.

My friend says I should just try to come out to my parents again or just not worry about it but I just really hate conflict and don't know how to try again and I also get so anxious over everything so I feel like it would be hard to not worry about it.

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[–] MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

A friend of mine and her wife had a baby last year, and that was only possible because she had delayed things to do freezing. Making the arrangements for freezing is challenging, but in hindsight, it's what they always wanted, and I've never seen them so happy, if a little tired all the time.

I'm not sure where you are, but in my country, adoption is extremely difficult for straight cis couples, and nearly impossible for queer couples. My wife and I probably won't ever be parents for that reason.

The first gender-affirming care I ever did was finasteride, which predated my therapist green-lighting my HRT by a few years. I was paranoid and confronted hair loss proactively, because in my early twenties, my hair was one of only ways I had control over my gender presentation and I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost my hair.

It's a big decision, but finasteride or minoxidil can go a long way in counteracting the worst parts of male puberty until you're able to make a decision. Best wishes with everything!

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