Like, did were they alcoholics ultimately and did you have to go thru your own negative experience with alcohol to reach that or was that enough?

What would you say was the most formative experience that precipitated where you are now with that (if its not too uncomfortable to share)?

Alcohol is interesting for me because nobody in my family really had an issue with it but i had severe shitty life syndrome for such a long time that it became the only thing that numbed the hopelessness of it even as it caused innumerable problems contributing to that remaining the status quo for a long time even as things serendipitously improved and it was more or less chains on a much smaller less empowered me that had no conception of the agency I've developed and enforce today

Your recognition of they were trying to survive and make a living resonates with me because at some point I will need to address the aspect of the problem parent in some sense not knowing better and acting out of self-preservation

but I doubt I can forgive much of it besides recognizing they didnt know better and they dont have the necessary aspect of growth mindset where they would realize they can work incrementally on fixing their shit and not having to fall off the same cliffs repeatedly while dragging everyone else down with them