But, like, how many mushrooms do you have to eat to hit two thousand calories?

Also, not to completely miss the joke or anything, but afaik, you can’t harvest garlic without killing the plant. And olive/seed/coconut oil is basically fetus juice, so you’re essentially eating fungus eggs with plant fetus juice and plant circulatory/digestive system organs, which feels extra fucked up, but might actually be less fucked up if the fetuses aren’t yet sentient.

I’m sorry, I’ve just been thinking about the parent comment since yesterday and it’s fucking me up. Like, eating animals still consumes more plants than eating plants, so I don’t think I’d change that aspect, but oof. I’ve never even considered how to optimize agriculture for the welfare of the plants.

It would probably make for an interesting few decades in agricultural research and philosophy, though.