Would you like the cat version?

Or something more in the plug variety?

I'm seriously disappointed ravelry didn't just have an ass hat pattern.

You've got a job waiting for you with Nanotrasen's finest doctors aboard the illustrious Space Station 13!

It's a bunch of slapped together simulation systems in a trench coat, slathered in a layer of spessman slime and clown wigs, and shoved in an ancient diy MMO engine from the mid 2000s solely kept alive by this game.

More importantly, you can strap someone to an operating table in medbay, slice off their butt with a scalpel. You can then wear it as a hat.

Alternatively give it to the chef so he can cook a butt burger, or give it to the roboticist who can slap it on a talking roomba that runs around repeating what people say but switching words with "BUTT" (help changeling in BUTT!). People without butts cannot fart emote, and certain illnesses that would cause them to fart instead deal internal damage until they explode in a shower of blood and viscera.

I'm willing to bet the butt hats would have tons more success IRL