Please recommend a better place to post if this is inappropriate for the community. Sorta long, and personal

They've been clean for a little over a year. They went out with friends and one of the friends gave my partner a bottle of the thing that causes behavior problems. It makes them the worst type of drunk. They called me mostly sober and I got to hear them go from coherent to passing out over the course of a couple hours and many phone calls and being hung up on many times

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for. There was nothing I could do other than try to keep them on the phone and engaged but it all spiralled. Swinging from ok to hysterical to angry and back. The angry part is why I can't go get them, along with them getting to the point of absolute unreasonableness and just babbling nonsense. At points they can be combative and my showing up in person would have made everything worse

They are at a safe space where they can sleep it off. At this point I'm not worried they'll come back home angry, but I'm still vigilant for when they get back

I do not blame them because alcoholism and addiction are a lifelong disease, but I'm just not sure how to approach the next time I see them, which is presumably and hopefully in the morning

They have a therapist which they should probably get in touch with. I'm looking for a little direction. Maybe someone's dealt with addiction and relapse could chime in. I know I can't approach it with anger even though inside I'm feeling so angry and betrayed. They quit because the last time they drank, they put their hands on me

-tpyo

Edit: they're home. It's fine, they are ok though there's still a lot to talk about. Thank you for the concern and responses 💚, truly

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[–] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I have no advice but I did have an experience where my friend was taking the designated driver turn and we seperatate at the dance club and when I got back to him he was blitzed. I yelled at him and said we are sticking together and neigher of us is drinking. Unfortunately we fell asleep on a couch and the bouncers bounced us. I was way better than him and I said well eff it take teh train home but he begged and pleaded that I not leave his car there and I aquiesed and creaful got it back to his house. Never went out with him again though as that I believe is the only time I have ever drove having drunk anything. I mean Im a stickler. One drink and I won't drive. Made me so mad.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    he begged and pleaded that I not leave his car there

    them's the breaks if one betrays their friends by promising to be the designated driver and proceeds to get fucked up anyways. I could understand, like, one beer immediately when everyone gets there, if the plan is to stay there for three or more hours, that should be fine, but even then it's best for folks to draw their line at "zero drinks if I'm driving"

    all the more reason for places to offer non-alcoholic drink options and snacks and such

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