Yep. I find the major thing holding me back from most kinks is exactly that; insecurity.

Being good at sex is kinda gay, though

/s

And the corrollary to that, that even less people want to talk about, is that straight, traditional cis men and women will then mock and shame men who actually do try think outside the box.

So, many men are victims of patriarchy, and many women are perpetrators of patriarchy.

Then you get to the incredibly confusing 'now', where many women will claim to be a feminist, yet will also mock and shame men who do not conform to stereotypical cishet male lifestyle/relationship norms.

Actual feminism vs Pop feminism.

Actual feminism seeks to identify and challenge and critique societal gender roles and norms. All societal gender roles and norms.

Pop feminism is basically psuedo (meaning 'impostor' or 'fake') feminism, that pretty much just boils down to misandry, using a set of buzzwords and terms basically bastardized from actual feminism.

As a cishet man, much to the contrary - the vast majority of my sexual insecurities come from shaming of my sexuality from more left wing spaces.