Are we sure it wasn't a pre-existing condition?

So in Seattle last week there was a man who accidentally shot himself in the leg while driving his car. He called 911 because he obviously needed help, but tried to tell cops that he was shot by a stranger while driving. They asked why there were no entry holes in his car, and I think he went to jail for being a dumbass.

Anyway, how do we know JFK didn't accidentally shoot himself and then try to cover it up because he was so embarrassed.

I took physics in high school, so I'm basically a qualified expert. I can confirm that quantum mechanics tell us that this is possible. Exceedingly unlikely, but possible.

Of course, the idea that the President’s head can just explode for no reason in view of the public, and by implication, so can anyone else’s at any time, is far more existentially terrifying than any assassination plot, so, to avert mass panic and social collapse, the FBI hurriedly framed some local weirdo, and then killed him before anyone could flag that he probably had nothing to do with it, which is the only reason why everyone’s life savings still had any value afterwards.

This is why it's important to listen to the eyewitnesses. Their perspective might not be perfect, but it's authentic.

He moonlighted as a drummer for Spinal Tap.

It was Maxwell's demon!

That's an SNL joke that made it's way into Family Guy.