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WHY the only men who approach me with amorous intentions are unhealthy, cigarette, alcohol, junk food men?? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 6 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I'm a healthy outdoorsy athletic woman, never touched drugs or alcohol or junk food, a lifestyle which is intentional & ESSENTIAL criteria I work hard for.

So WHY the only men who approach me with amorous intentions are unhealthy, cigarette, alcohol, junk food men??

Update: Thank you for your thoughtful responses & the humorous ones too. I upvoted my favorites & laughed at the funnies and you've given me plenty to think about & work on.

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[+] 15 points 6 months ago (11 children)
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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (8 children)

    I've been sitting around waiting for a woman to hit on me. It hasn't worked out.

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  • [+] 7 points 6 months ago (8 children)
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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (5 children)

    That would be nice. I'd probably still be afraid to though.

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  • [+] 2 points 6 months ago (4 children)
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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago (3 children)

    That's not really the problem. It's more so that I feel like a burden. I don't feel I have much to offer her. I'm loyal and loving but I feel like that's not enough.

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  • [+] 1 point 6 months ago (2 children)
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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Fair point. I have pretty major issues with self-esteem and it's something I need to work on. Thanks!

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (1 child)

    Everyone's able and pretty much always has been, but rejection can be very painful and a blow to the ego, which ceteris paribus is more uncomfortable for women so they only shoot their shot with men they find really attractive ("if the risk is always the same, at least go for the high reward", and being rejected by a guy who isn't very attractive can be even more painful), something that is rare.

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  • [+] 2 points 6 months ago (1 child)
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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago

    Yup yup yup. Although to be fair it's a bit more understandable coming from women (the fact that men are very horny, horny enough to fund 99% of hookers and OF girlies, horny enough to fuck a McChicken even, can make male-to-female rejection seem even more painful), we have it easier handling our emotions (any man who's less stable than the average woman is evidently broken and needs to get on top of their shit ASAP, we don't even have luteal phases!) so I don't mind being the sex that approaches.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (1 child)

    Have to agree, however I have a thought.

    Man who are athletic join gyms and have they been asked not to go hitting on women at the gym. That is fair. So that environment is not a dating space, as are a lot of exercise spaces. OP can have the option of approaching men, the world is equal…ask the you want men out…but should the same precedent exist? Don’t do it in the space they come to to workout?

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago

    I think it's ok for women to be allowed to ask men or at the gym purely based on the reason why it's not ok for men to ask.

    An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male. (1) This US Dept. of Justice statistic does not report those who do not identify in these gender boxes.

    https://www.humboldt.edu/supporting-survivors/educational-resources/statistics

    Men commit the preponderance of sexual violence/harassment by a long shot.

    It's become the norm for men to leave women alone in less-than-social spaces because it provides a more welcoming environment. Which is a huge cultural improvement IMO. The other way around though is fine. I don't think most men are expecting to be sexually harassed/abused by women in those same spaces.

    Not saying it couldn't happen, because it does, but it's SOOOOO MUCH less likely.

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