Would you ever straight up say to your son, ‘You are a disappointment’?

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[–] -1 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

Yeah, no.

This 'do no harm' shit is nothing more than toxic positivity.

Pain is part of life. Learn to deal with it and stop trying to avoid it pathologically. You should feel bad for disappointing people. Nobody is harming you by telling you that you fucked up, the only thing that gets hurt is your ego and your insistence nothing you do is wrong because you do it.

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  • [–] 0 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    There can be both toxic positivity and toxic negativity. It's good to be aware you can do damage with words. It greatly depends on the situation and words and nonverbal language used. I also feel like saying you're disappointed by the son's concrete behaviour is ok, while saying he's a disappointment (in his whole) is a heavy caliber - maybe the meaning varies regionally or something?

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  • [–] 0 points 7 months ago* (1 child)

    someone's entire life can legitimately be a disappointment to themselves, and to others.

    and they should be forced to acknowledge that. especially if they want to improve it.

    plenty of people are piece of shit their entire lives. look at Rob Reiner's son who ended up murdering his parents who did nothing but right by him his entire life.

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