If they don't want to see your little croquette, they shouldn't be watching you sleep.

. . . How many times are we talking here? Like a weird two nickels, or enough that it’s a really creepy coincidence?

Every time I’ve tried sleeping in the nude in the past 15 years, I had explosive diarrhea across the bed.

would prefer nude but I fart way too much to roll these dice.

Is alcohol or sickness a factor or do you just have a violently shy butthole?

Perhaps we could consider investigating the train of circumstances that have led you to sleep naked in the past, as I feel it may shed some light into the volatile rectum situations.

A sheet, a light blanket, a knitted afghan, and a heavy blanket, and that will hold in all the heat you need. The pockets in the knitted afghan trap your body heat really well, and the blankets hold it there. Works amazingly well.

It works so well, that sometimes I have to stick a foot out from under the covers to radiate excess body heat.

Fuzzy sheets, a couple thick blankets, and a huge dog means it’s never too cold while sleeping. But also we’re in California so we have pretty mild winters overall too