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You are NOT a failure (lemmy.world)
submitted 10 months ago by to c/hopeposting@lemmy.world
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Dudes be like " for my age I am a failure "

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU are alive and that is good enough. Your goals do not define you. You are more than that. You are loved.

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[–] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This is a deep question that you likely won't find the answer to on the internet. You should talk to therapist and get this stuff out. Realizing it is the first step though.

if I’m not being useful to someone or supporting someone else or doing something worthwhile then I’m a waste of resources

Get that shit out of your head right now. You didn't ask to be here and you don't owe anyone shit. You are going to die someday and nothing will matter other than if you did what made you happy.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I've got first session booked for next week, I'm just trying to hang on until then.

    Yeah I know that sentiment is utilitarian bullshit, but I genuinely can't shift it out of my head because it's the only way I've found any positivity in my life: solving a problem at work, being a listening ear to friends for their problems or just showing up to their events so they feel appreciated, or the odd bit of volunteer work I've done.

    I can't just sit down or go out and do a thing for myself because:

    1. I don't know what I like doing, it just feels like random guess work, I start doing a thing, get really into it, then the spark just fades after a month or two and I don't want to do it again.

    2. It feels futile to go and do these things because I won't spend enough time to get good at it before I give up.

    3. I feel I could be doing something more productive with that time but I'm too lazy to do that either so I just default to the easiest way to skip time, usually watching something, then feel guilty for wasting that time not being productive or happy, then remembering I don't know how to make myself actually happy just performatively happy, go numb, and just try to sleep it off until the next obligation which is usually work.

    Sorry if this is too much for this community, let me know and I'll delete and unfollow this community.

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago*

    I don't think it's too much for this community. I think you are being too hard on yourself. You do something until you are bored with it and you consider that a character flaw? Brother, that's just life. You may not be the best at something, but if you enjoy doing it, then who cares? I make music, and it's not topping the charts. However, I do it because my inspiration wasn't to make music for everyone, it was to make it for someone.

    Number 3 is called a feedback loop. It's like drinking. It's the solution to the problem, but it causes the problem. Forgive yourself and move forward. Change is a direction, not a destination. Perfect is the enemy of good, and maybe good enough is going for a walk before watching something. Small steps. Breath.

    You are no different than the happy people you see. You'll find what works. Everything, even the ground you stand on, is temporary.

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