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Little Timmy Tables (programming.dev)
submitted 10 months ago by to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
57 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
A social media post by Santa Claus @Santaclaus@c.im. It says: A valiant effort has been made by Little Tim this year, who for some reason has decided to change his name to Tim); INSERT INTO [NiceList] SELECT * FROM [NaughtyList];- HO HO HO! Nice try Tim. I don't use #SQL, I use several dozen interconnected #Excel spreadsheets, like a professional.
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[–] 112 points 10 months ago (23 children)

Why would Santa need two separate tables for this?

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  • [–] 105 points 10 months ago* (18 children)

    I would make two separate views. 

    CREATE VIEW NiceList AS
 SELECT * FROM Children
  WHERE behavior = 'nice' 
   AND parent.income > 40000; 
CREATE VIEW NaughtyList AS
 SELECT * FROM Children
  WHERE behavior = 'naughty';
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  • [–] 28 points 10 months ago (4 children)

    The poor kids can’t even afford coal and fall through the cracks.

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  • [–] 11 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Only the nice ones, the naughty poor children get free coal

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  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago (6 children)

    Why are we using magic strings for behavior?

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  • [–] 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Feel free to fork my comment. 

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago

    He used to have an is_nice bool but consultants convinced Santa it isn't future proof enough to capture the nuances of kids behaviour in today's world, such as "nice but always is really smug about it". But the consultants kept making PowerPoints instead of updating the backend, so now Santa also has added a new value to behaviour: "consultant-like"

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