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me_irl (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/me_irl@lemmy.world
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[–] 24 points 1 year ago* (11 children)

I don't know how some people actually manage to maintain an actual friendship with more than 3 people, really. Like, where the fuck do you find the time to have 20 close friends?

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    You know, there are quite a few numbers between 3 and 20. Also you dont have to talk to them every single day. Just meaningful time together. Thats it.

    Or at least this worked / works for me.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    This is what I've observed of my partner and other more social people - they'll reach out to people they like semi-frequently just to check in, maybe arrange a date if it works, or maybe just trade memes.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Just meaningful time together. Thats it.

    Yeah, but when?

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    What do you mean? When the time is right i guess?

    If you mean how often, well that depends. Weekly / bi-weekly / monthly it really just how it goes.

    Just because we dont meet up we dont just suddenly become strangers.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    It was more of a joke comment about your response. OP says he doesn't have time to spend with (more) friends and your response is to just spend more time with them.

    Although I know that's not quite what you meant, I'm pointing it out in a deadpan way as to highlight the absurdity.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I wish I would see any of my friends monthly. I haven't seen my best friend in like 4 months or so.

    Weekly meetups with 3+ friends, that's something you can do before you have a wife, kids and a job.

    10 years ago, I had a really large social circle, with a group of ~15 people who met 1-4x per week. That was all fine and easy when the only commitment was university and part-time jobbing. But with a full-time job and kids, all that just disappears.

    A week only has 168h. With work, sleep and family, there's not a lot left.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Well i did not think about that. Im in my mid twenties and i only have a job to worry about, so what i said came from this my perspective.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Wait for it ;) It's gonna get you like anyone else.

    Except if you stay childless and then you are the rando with too much time while everyone else you know just disappears into sleep-deprivation-induced zombie mode.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    They probably don't. I feel like people's definition of what a friend is can be very loose.

    I recognize some people I know as colleagues or acquaintances, but some people may think of them as friends were they in my shoes.

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