I see what you mean. I've had partners who loved it. so it does have a place within consensual power games.

That said, seems like better education about consent and safety would be useful.

That is fucked up, but peoples individual/anecdotal experience is not what should drive lawmaking. If we banned everything that was ever done in a non consensual way, then sex would be illegal.

Permission is not something that's taken lightly with people who are actually into that sort of thing.

I'm guessing that guy was experimenting and didn't understand what he should be doing. I know, and have known many people into many kinks that are either bdsm or bdsm adjacent, and consent is paramount for everyone. The amount of trust you have to have in someone to be completely immobilized while they do what they want is immense, and cannot be taken lightly. This concept penetrates the groups of people who have those kinds of kinks.

At the very least, as soon as you said that you didn't want him to do it, it should have been completely stopped, that should have been the end of it. If he wants someone who will participate in those acts with him, then he can look elsewhere.

For all the people I know who are into bdsm, or into similar fetishes, I must condemn this kind of behavior. They would not approve, I do not approve, and anyone rational should also not approve of these actions.

You speak of this in the past tense, so I assume you left and hopefully found someone who respects your boundaries. I'm sorry that you went through that and I hope you're doing well.