I don't mean specifically you here, but it is strange when people call me a valued part of this website when I do not value myself at all. Both on the website as well as in my own life. So many more people deserve so much more attention. That's why it feels like it's manipulation to me I had to be a people pleaser to deal with my psychopath mother and now as an adult anytime that I please people or start getting attention things feel wrong. It turns out that I actually do enjoy like pleasing people, but only when it's on my terms But I don't like getting anything in return for it because then it feels... I don't know. Maybe that's just insanely deep trauma that I need to unpack with a therapist that I also cannot afford. Who knows? The point being is that I genuinely can say that I could not care less about money right now and I just want a hug. I think I legitimately am going to go to a Tim Hortons tomorrow and just ask to hug the first friendly looking stranger I see.

And thank you for everything. I don't care if somebody donates money or not. That isn't what I'm thanking here. I'm just thanking people for actually caring about me when I couldn't care less about myself. It's a weird feeling. Not a bad one. Just really difficult to try and process.