Holy shit, thats... thats some of the best marketing/writing/production value that I've heard for literally anything, in probably a decade.
Damn.
Well, I mean... I... also block ads so religiously I've considered whether or not I could form an actual, formally US recognized religion based on the idea, but still.
The only possible thing I could offer to maybe add is just a sign off 'it really whips the llama's ass', ... not sure if thats still or ever was trademarked, also not sure if I care.
Either way, damn good work!