Plus if you hand me a messy stack, I now have to leave the table with it. If I can arrange food waste and cutlery on my own, I can carry way more

My wife used to wait tables and we generally eat or box everything, so I'm pretty confident she's right to pre-bus (and even wipe the table a little while waiting for check).

My only personal analogy is bagging groceries; self service shows how typical people have no idea, while an experienced bagger does. I saw a guy literally put eggs in the bottom of their bag. I can't imagine how terrible their pre-bussing must be.

Yeah, I originally thought I was being nice until I heard this exact sentiment from another server. I try not to make a ridiculous mess and tip at least 20% for good service

Yep instead I pass things out of reach, look the waiter in the eyes, comment on how hard they're working and chat to them. Just treat them like they're human

Well luckily for you I have restaurant industry experience, so I already know how to stack them the right way.

I always prebus. If i don't know how to stack funny dishes then I leave them in small piles by type with cuttery on the top of what makes sense.

Takes less than 5 seconds for a stack / pickup with a nod to the busser.

I almost never had a table stack their stuff the way I wanted. Just make sure your spot is tidy, easy to grab, and there are no surprises like silverware or a tiny dish wrapped inside a napkin. Definitely don’t stick a paper napkin inside your cup that still has a drink in it. By the time it gets back to the dish station it will have turned into a paste someone has to dig out and will be cursing you!