Some men also fetishize it and its fucking weird 🤢

I dont wanna self-diagnose myself out of fear as becoming or being viewed some variant of those "Mentally ill TikTok girls" that fake their mental health diagnoses for attention. I don't do what I do for attention, I just do it because idk it just happens, idk... Half the time I genuinely cant control the shit that comes out of my mouth 😭😭

But I also feel like the diagnosis could explain a lot of my behaviors that ADHD may not be able to explain

I mean I've asked them and they think I do have some autistic traits, just not as extreme as theirs may be.

Makes sense.

I think that’s less of a big deal, but it shifts my concern to things like “will my coworkers see this and think I’m a creep?”

If you were planning on being very active in a NSFW community, I’d personally do that on a different account with a random name that can’t be traced back to me.

I meant in terms of posting NSFW content that isn’t me.

Like posting a pic of a porn actress on a place focussed on her.

Edit: Or commenting on said images.

How about you use your main-est account, your imagination? :-)

Viewing? No. Posting? Yes.

Practically I don’t want to build a profile of who I am and attach naked pictures of myself to it. It increases your risk of blackmail. If you don’t care about people seeing you nude and knowing your legal name, go for it.

Before I try to explain anything, do you know what alexithymia is?

Yes, of course "depression" is a catchall term like "the vapors" was for Victorian housewives affected by everything from low blood volume to domestic abuse to black mold. I don't think you know anything about autism though.

I have seen numerous psychologists and therapists get their backs up about people even saying "I'm depressed" or "I've been depressed lately" - and they'll quickly jump in to say "YOU ARE SAD. DEPRESSION IS A MEDICAL CONDITION - HAVE YOU BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION? No? THEN YOU'RE SAD, NOT DEPRESSED" - so I personally steer clear of any and all self-diagnosis. I am not a doctor - I can only accurately describe my symptoms, not the cause or condition.

Edit: Downvotes for me literally describing what I do and what I have heard many times in my life... classy Lemmy, classy.

ton of billionaire CEOs have it

*claim to have it. It is my hypothesis that some of them use the autism label to explain why their experiences and behaviour differs from their peers: many of of them exhibit something like lack of empathy, envy, need for admiration and control and it smells more like a personality disorder to me which is less palatable to bear than autism would in their mind.

A lot of smart scientists too. There's a biography of Paul Dirac (one of the founders of quantum mechanics) called "The Strangest Man" with a chapter about how Dirac was (in the author's view) probably autistic. There's another book "The Pattern Seekers" about autism and creativity, and a couple of similar books by psychiatrist Michael Fitzgerald. I can imagine seeing this stuff and wanting to become autistic because of that, probably a bad idea. Anyway, fashionable in certain circles at least.

You could just say you have ADHD since you actually know you have it. But as far as autism goes it's complex and the internet fucking sucks as a diagnostic resource so you'll probably have to ask a doctor or other autistic people. It seems like all of the "blog" sites that list autism criteria are geared toward children and right now I wouldn't fit most of them and for the rest I wouldn't have thought I fit if I hadn't had people pointing out how socially awkward I am, but in early childhood it was way more obvious. Also being outgoing and sociable doesn't rule it out. Although I also think it's best not to focus on or overthink labels in general unless you really need it to get some sort of support or to help people understand you better as an alternative to getting rejected from life.

There's a lot of people who idolize autism as something that makes people quirky and smart, mainly because a ton of billionaire CEOs have it

yeah, you should check out raads-r, I would think that it's okay to say "I'm probably autistic"

my gf is diagnosed and she says I'm very autistic so I wouldn't be surprised if I was too

Maybe fashionable for a select group of rich weirdos & their egirls. That's an odd generalization

Well, if you're feeling like you're faking something, you should take a look at the stats for suicides and depression for self-diagnosed vs clinically diagnosed. Very close. If you're considering self-diagnosis you're in danger of something. Not an amazingly useful stat, as people having a hard time with various issues might get some misinfo and self-identify. Still have a higher rate of that stuff in the first place for obvious reasons. The lack of care for anyone who misses childhood diagnosis and getting actually effective treatment sucks. People needing to resort to self-diagnosis is a systematic failure, cobbling together information about what to do with yourself afterward is not easy alone, sounds like you have some people to ask about it a bit though.

Don't pay attention to personality quiz types in video form. Research all the symptoms. Sensory and even digestive stuff.

Autism is very fashionable these days so claiming the label if you haven't been diagnosed seems a bit pretentious, though of course nothing really stops you. Apparently the main diagnostic markers involve your behaviour when you were a little kid, as opposed to whether you're sociable or whatever in the present. I don't know what benefits (if any) exist to being diagnosed, but if you try to get that, the clinicians will probably want to interview your parents abour your childhood, if they can.

ADHD can be treated with meds but autism is untreatable afaik. You're better off without autism.

I don't exactly fit the bar for autism, I'm wayyyyy too outgoing and sociable(?)

It's a myth that autistic people can't be sociable or outgoing.

You could say you haven't been formally diagnosed but fit some criteria for it.

I have friends who actually are autistic

Then ask them, not pseudonymous randos on the internet.

Claiming to have a mental health condition to explain another health condition in order to be taken seriously seems bad form to me. If autism actually explains remarkable traits or deficits or challenges that are lifelong and consistent that ADHD doesn't, then go for it. Otherwise the onus is on you to express your needs vis-a-vis support and challenges and perhaps enlighten people with the knowledge what ADHD is and how it impacts people. We don't need to further muddy the waters with bad information around these conditions.

You're right, teens cannot get a diagnosis for personality disorders as their personality has not fully formed yet. Teenage years and even beyond are the years a person goes through to find themselves who they are in regards to personality. A teenager has little expectations in forming stable relationships and most people in later stages look back at it with some sentimental cringe as they grow in experience. You mentioned to be autistic so you might be aware of how autistic folks behave differently vis-a-vis relationships and social interactions. In many cases this kind of upbringing (it is a neuro developmental condition afterall) leaves the person with some trauma which can manifest in traits that on the surface resemble a personality disorder. I'm thinking here in terms of people pleasing, hyper vigilance, problem with emotional regulation and low self esteem. I've said this many times in various other threads: labels do not matter as much as opposed to traits. You seem self aware enough to keep track of those so you can address them in therapy or elsewhere.

Ooh okay well my issue is that hyperfixating on people makes them thinl I love them so much I'm batshit insane over them etc, & then I get distracted & they think I hate them. I recommend reading Unmasking Autism. I have been meaning to do a write up on it since it has tons of useful information but has this annoying insistence we need to launch a mass-consciousness movement for accepting neurodivergence. Erm no we need class war, that shit is false hope, but the description of symptoms & all that is amazing.

If you go looking for BPD material, it's going to be way harder. In my experience. I kind of gave up because it's not a personal struggle of mine & the material was just disgusting & mean, degrading to the patient. So start with understanding autism!

I can try that!! Usually what happens is that I can't focus for more than 5 minutes and then I go back to having such an attachment to them it hurts

Have you by any chance shunted away some hobbies that would have previously distracted you from unhealthy texting patterns? In high school I was totally like that, but I have stacked up enough fixations with an infinite skillcap that I have to set 30 min reminders to check texts even with notifications on. Not a cohesive response just a tip akin to using one drug to distract yourself from another.