There's no way to ask this without it coming off as a roast, so I'm just going to lean into it: What the fuck do Canadian tourists do in Montana? Look at mountains? Why, did Canada run out?

Or Windex.

That's kind of the point, that show ended 28 years ago. What have you seen him in since then? When he's been mentioned in the years since, it's generally either to make a joke about his career or just his general persona.

30 Rock in 2006: In this episode, Jenna Maroney goes on a sexual walkabout, engaging in a bunch of deviant sex acts. At ~3:45, we see the very end of her checklist:

• In an airplane wheel well
• Pull a general Tso's Revenge
• Run a train with the cast of "Training Day" on a train
• Soon-Yi a marriage
• Supreme court Justice,Liberal
• Yoko a band
• Dean Cain

Once the band has been Yoko'd, she scrolls down to the final entry. "Ugh, Dean Cain," she sighs, rolling her eyes.

Family Guy in 2007: Dean Cain is so desperate for attention that he's taken to wearing old Superman merch and sidling up to random strangers then saying "Hey, is that Dean Cain?" in a fake voice.

Yeah, it's literally true that he's a former Superman actor, but he's been a punchline for over 20 years, to the point where he's probably better known as a joke than an actor.

Oh boo. New Who just got dropped by all major streaming services here without warning; I no longer have a place to watch legitimately. Simultaneously, a separate, free "service" for streaming shows that I may or may not have used has shut down. What a bad week for this to happen, I was very much looking forward to this one. I will try to figure something out so I can continue to join the rewatch.

EDIT: Just got done watching in about no-hundred-and-40p.

While I personally don't enjoy Moffat as a showrunner, he's excellent as a writer of episodic TV and that certainly shows here. My preference for the kind of low-budget jank Who is completely overridden by this episode, which has very high production values and is excellent. When I think of the Ninth Doctor, this two-parter is the first thing that comes to mind. It's the best kind of eerie and does a good job introducing all of the elements you'll need to understand even if you dropped headfirst into this episode.

It's funny how little genre-savvy Rose has here. A small child yelling "Muuuuuuuuummyyyyyyy" into the night is very rarely a good sign, but Rose is off like a rocket, trying to get as close to the scary nightmare child as possible, ASAP. But maybe kids calling for their mummies were less scary before this episode aired. Ultimately, though, it leads her into a story that's a different kind of creepy. Everyone else already said it, but her B-plot with Jack/Barrowman is the weakest part of the episode.

Barrowman's ... let's say "confidence", shines through in the character and doesn't acquit either very well. I'm probably a bad fan in that I never watched Torchwood, so all of my familiarity with Jack Harkness comes from his handful of Who episodes. Maybe I'd find him more likeable if I had more time with the character, but I don't feel like I ever warmed to him as much as the show hoped. It's not fair to compare anybody, anywhere to Harrison Ford, but as much as he might like to be, Jack Harkness is no Han Solo.

Getting back to the better part of the episode, Florence Hoath's Nancy is fantastic throughout. She's believably hardened by life in the blitz while her deeply sensitive nature beats along just below the surface. The episode is properly engrossing in all of her scenes and she's even able to carry some without any of our leads around. Surprisingly, she retired from acting around 2008; these days, she's a pre-school-targeted YouTuber, i.e. singing nursery rhymes and stuff.

The gas mask transformation is still incredibly effective. It's only a little bit wibbly-wobbly-2005y-wimey. Contrast it against Adam's head-hole a couple of weeks ago and this looks years ahead. It's aided by the capable performance of Richard Wilson as Dr. Constantine immediately prior. Great episode. If not for "Rose" already doing the job well, this would be a solid recommendation for new fans to see if they like what the show has to offer, because this remains some of the best.

Suffer like DC did?

I kind of wish this headline just kept going.

Proton’s Lumo AI chatbot: not end-to-end encrypted, not open source, bad taste in music, murdered family of five

I'm thinking about my eye floaters roughly 200% of the time and I still mistake them for bugs flying past my face at least once a week.

I checked, whoever CONEY is isn't saying these things, it's a reaction video making fun of the satanic panic around Pokémon. That's why in the profile pic he looks like one of those dudes who would make an outrageous reaction face in the thumbnail, because he usually does. No shade, except for the obvious shade.

• Satanism in Pokémon and MTG (original video)
• The Disturbing Agenda Behind Pokémon (CONEY reaction video)

EDIT: I'm watching the OG video (35 damn minutes); favorite pull quote so far:

The danger of Dungeons & Dragons or any kind of role-playing game like this is that it's played with the mind and--when played with the mind--the mind begins to lose that fine line with what's real and what's fantasy. And the more you get into the fantasy world, the more it seems real and all of a sudden now, you don't know what's real or what's not.

Seems like.

EDIT2: Hold up though, is this guy working undercover for Prima Guides or something?

And now, parents, if you're not up on Pokémon, you need to be. And one of the things you can do is go out and buy the official Pokémon Trading Card Game Player's Guide. And you can get this at any store that sells any of the Pokémon stuff. I mean anything. You can get it like at Toys 'R' Us or any of those places that sell any of the Pokémon.

You might be thinking of Super Mario Bros. Crossover, although that only goes in one direction: you can choose from a bunch of characters, but you're always playing Super Mario Bros.

I'm always on board for a (quasi-) Jackie Tyler episode; she's one of my favorite parts of the Rose era. It is funny that Camille Coduri is playing a 20-year-old Jackie Tyler here with just an '80s perm to convince us. She's entirely unconvincing as a 20-year-old, but it's not really much worse than Billie Piper being 19. It's the Dear Evan Hansen industrial complex over here.

I love any time there's Back to the Future II (my favorite!) shenanigans in a time travel story, so the opening with multiple Doctors and Roses a few minutes apart immediately wins me over. They're followed by some pretty naff effects throughout, with the red-cellophane vision and dodgy CGI monsters all over the place. I'm still on board.

It's interesting to see the Doctor actively frightened about what he's done to the timeline, since plot conceits usually dictate that whatever he does is fine. There's some interesting moments like him watching that time-displaced death car with genuine concern. We also get his line, "An ordinary man, that's the most important thing in creation." I wonder if somebody overheard the Doctor saying this in 1987 and that's why we're dealing with the manosphere today.

The scene(s) where Pete starts to understand that he's not in Rose's future and in fact not in anybody's future are well written and performed by Piper and Dingwall, who is unfalteringly believable as a deadbeat husband and dad who both knows and regrets it. Rose's false monologue about the kind of father he becomes and his ultimate recognition that he can in some way be that father is genuinely affecting. Even though the music is doing its best to hammer the emotional beats home throughout, I don't think it was necessary in that moment.

This isn't an episode that I think should have won any awards, and don't worry: it didn't. Nothing ground-breaking for the show happens here, the music choices are incredibly un-subtle, and it's ultimately very predictable stuff. But I find it enjoyable from start to finish. It's the fun kind of silly. I like getting to meet a bunch of the recurring cast at a different point in their lives in a story that's self-contained but with a satisfying payoff in the final Jackie and child-Rose scene. This isn't Doctor Who at its best, but it's supremely comfortable viewing and I'm happy with that.

Bonus points for the pre-Rickroll "Never Gonna Give You Up" in the scene with Rose and her father in the car on the way to the church. The meme didn't exist when this episode was first broadcast, it was just a hit song from the '80s. Hearing it in the background just to set the scene without the 20 years of baggage is a fun time. It's hard to remember what it was like to hear it without the modern context, but having nobody react strongly to it in-universe gives us a small taste.

/s != serious