To be fair, the CIA is the one organization in the US government that can hire literally anyone. They have to pay "bad guys" in sketchy ways all the time in order to gain intelligence, cause trouble for enemies, and generally just move around the world (so they can be anywhere).

They are also experts of compartmentalization: They're famous for hiring people that are literally insane but are still capable of performing important work. They just keep said people isolated and only given what they need to do their job.

Everyone knows the term, "handler" but what they probably don't realize is that a lot of handlers are just people working in CIA offices, making sure dangerous/crazy people stay on task (or just come to work and go home on time!).

Then the detective's buddy looks at you and says:

"Ooh. Tough split."

Why bother with a heist? Just turn the tip of your finger into a great big diamond from time to time.

Or more classical: Impersonate a rich person and do some transfers out of their accounts.

Mind control can't change your sex (or just make it feel better, with fast recovery), make you live longer, or help out when you're having a rough time on the toilet.

It just turns everyone into your slave. You're a villain by default.

More importantly, it's super boring. People with mind control powers can have whatever they want—materially—with basically zero effort just by forcing people to give them stuff. There's no struggle, and if there is any, it's just you sweating or getting a headache while staring off into the distance.

The employees that work for these places should unionize.

"We brought in the union busters, but they went on strike." Would be just 👌

Even if I find a clue, how will I know? I've yet to hear a notification sound nor do I have a cute little fairy whispering things in my ear 🤷

For all I know, I could've walked past thousands of clues throughout my life. I haven't given up solving the mystery, though!

Wait: Can I get one of these infusion thingies?

Get ready to Fortipatch your Fortishit!

7.7 square mile nation that's 80% uninhabitable due to mining phosphates with approximately 10,000 people in the middle of nowhere finally makes the news again after decades of nothing happening.

This is why open source AI is necessary!

Oh right! I completely forgot.

It's happening to the guy in front 👍

...if you take these companies statements at face value and ignore all the other, more realistic reasons why they're laying people off.