If justice was real, there would be a way for them to break NDA, and keep the money, because fuck these companies. They need to be taught a lesson: "Fuck around and find out"

Even worse: instead of your email or phone number. It's not even username. It's your fucking account number. I'm looking at you airline and hotel rewards programs. You think I know my fucking account number? Now I need to go into my email and lookup my fucking Airline Advantage number? And Gmail search is complete shit and all of the results I get are from the airline in my spam folder so I have to dig through all of that. Then when I finally do find it, fuck me if I can remember my password because I travel like once every couple of years and I'm hoping that if I keep saving up all of my points then maybe I can get a free flight to a neighboring city in 20 years....

Well at least they hired Evil Evilton after considering other candidates such as Satan McHitler and Dr.Heinrich VonCrimesagainsthumanity.

What the fuck is the context here? At first I thought it was in protest, and then it seemed like just idiots. Like... What the fuck was the point of that?

People around here really love Linux.

Not saying it's a bad thing. Linux is great.

But people around here reeeealy love Linux.

I mean... I have young kids with delacate sleep schedules, and I just want them to stop fucking with the clock. Please just pick a lane and stay in it.

Fantastic movie. Somebody suggested I watch it and they were going to tell me about it an I was like "No don't tell me anything, I like to go in blind". I didn't look up anything about it either. Went in completely blind and holy moly what a wild ride. If you're reading this, and you have never heard of this movie, I highly suggest you go watch it.

I suppose the fact that it's in this thread gives something away, but it actually doesn't.

Had to go and check and yes. You are absolutely right.

The furnature in the room never gets knocked over in the video though.

Infinite poop.

You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt.

The poop accelerates.

You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell.

The poop accelerates.

You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window.

The poop accelerates.

A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself.

The poop accelerates.

A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile.

The poop accelerates.

The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers.

The poop accelerates.

You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet.

The poop accelerates.

The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes.

The poop accelerates.

1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier.

The poop accelerates.

4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city.

The poop accelerates.

You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive.

The poop accelerates.

Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness.

The poop accelerates.

Forever.

You can put a bunch of pancake batter in a rice cooker to make a big ass crazy pancake. I've only done it once, but it was like 2 inches thick, cooked perfectly all the way through, and super delicious.

Not sure about microwaves popping the corn, but there was this guy Jimmy who was cracking the corn, but honestly I couldn't be bothered with it.