Based on The Lockpicking Lawyer's videos, you could practically sneeze at the thing and it would pop right open

If you haven't read them yet, the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett fills a similar fantasy space, but with an excellent dose of British humor mixed in. The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic are often recommended as the primary starting point, but there's a handful of parallel storylines with their own "starting points". Going Postal is one of my favorites.

By Grabthar's Hammer........ What a savings

Free mode forces shuffle play, it's obnoxious

What are you on about? They literally mention Proton by name, with a link, in the second paragraph. Plus, this isn't trying to subtly call out Proton, they're a related party in Tuta's concern about Switzerland's potential privacy laws.

No, not canonically at least and would've been very taboo in the 50's anyway. The original comics didn't really cover relationships between any of the characters outside of Sally's crush on Linus, Lucy's crush on Schroedinger, and Charlie's crush on The Little Red-Haired Girl. I can just about guarantee though that there is fanfic out there somewhere shipping the two of them.

All good homie. Patty was always one of my favorites, I liked her green plaid shirt

How dare you besmirch Peppermint Patty's name, she's a trustworthy girl. Lucy van Pelt on the other hand...