A user named Nissa, some hours ago, posted the link to this essay as a part of a comment, in this very community.

When I read it, it really fucking resonated with me, and I thought that it really deserved to be its own post in this community.

Nissa (or anyone else), do tell me if you, for any reason, want me to take down this post.

Hi, I'm not completely not ok, but my headspace is a mess, so I'd like to ask for media recommendations and tips for the panic I'm going through.

I've kinda known I am trans for years, but only in a dissociated, intellectualized sense, while living as a man. And recently I've gotten a tiny extra amount of monetary safety, enough to make me emotionally relax, and the realization of my transness hit me.

I was unable to imagine my self 5 years down there line. I drew a complete blank. My imagination suffocating between dysphoria and denial.

I've been seeing myself only as a girl in dreams for a week, and it has felt wonderful, and when I'm awake I'm paralyzed in dread of the amount of work in front of me, my deeply internalized misogyny about my appearence, my bigoted (though "safe enough") surrounding people...

Question, what have you watched that brought you trans joy? Encouragement to go on towards something worth it.

And, in more mentally panicky matters, what do I do about an incredible amount and thickness of body hair? I know that the very dark coloration of it makes laser an option, I've heard electrolysis is underrated, but those seem like absolutely enormous steps right now. What can be easy, early, discreet steps I can take for some euphoria?