Maybe you fucked it up. But then again, maybe he did too. Or it was a mutual cock up. It's hard to know. Even for those who lived through it.

Take your time to recover. Yoga helps! Exercise does too. Take care of yourself. Then slowly let yourself open up to the prospect of someone new. When you're ready.

Your life is not fucked up. You have decades ahead. But you do have to go through the stages of grief and work your feelings through before you'll be ready to try again.

Good luck!

Go to university. If you're broke, go to a local community college for the first two years, get good grades, then transfer to the best school you can get into and afford to finish your degree. Your local state uni is probably just fine for undergrad. Plan at least a terminal Masters degree though.

Engineers often have poor self-esteem. You can learn to program. Anyone can. It just takes work and persistence. Algebra is mandatory. Geometry helps, especially if you're doing graphics. Calculus will be very useful, but not necessary for most application level work. Begin with math. The rest is syntax and rules of thumb.

😱😭🤔😂!!!

Yes! You kooky self-slut, you.

On the downside though, I'll be able to spank you from afar for having done so. No cumming!

I've never read Emmanuel. Though I think I saw the movie ages ago. But I never read it and that's what really matters. I should probably read that. I'll put it on a list.

I have read The Image and have seen the film! Both are French, though I read translations. My favorite of the three is Venus, though only because I think it captures masochism best of the three. O is also very well written, but I think it doesn't capture the experience of submission quite as well as Venus does.

Either Venus in Furs or Story of O.

I like to read. Lol

This is wonderful. Thank you for contributing!

Done