Maybe you fucked it up. But then again, maybe he did too. Or it was a mutual cock up. It's hard to know. Even for those who lived through it.

Take your time to recover. Yoga helps! Exercise does too. Take care of yourself. Then slowly let yourself open up to the prospect of someone new. When you're ready.

Your life is not fucked up. You have decades ahead. But you do have to go through the stages of grief and work your feelings through before you'll be ready to try again.

Good luck!