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[–] 56 points 6 months ago (11 children)

You people wear clothes to bed?

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  • [–] 15 points 6 months ago (6 children)

    I've said it on here before, and I'll say it again: all both of the times in the past decade-ish that I've been naked to bed, I shot diarrhea across the bed. I'm not taking that risk anymore.

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Your nick notwithstanding, never trust the fart.

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago

    They weren't even untrustworthy farts. Both times, it was suddenly waking to the realization that I'm about to have diarrhea. Remembering that I've left no buffers for mistakes, I overexerted myself while trying to get out of bed. Thus begins the poo stew stream of shame.

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  • [+] 15 points 6 months ago (14 children)
  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (7 children)

    Yeah who is out shopping for sweatpants, takes a pair off the rack and says "fuck yea my ass gonna say Juicy"?

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  • [–] 9 points 6 months ago (6 children)

    Look at leftenant dry ass over here

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (5 children)

    That's CAPTAIN dry ass to you.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (4 children)

    i refuse to recognize any captain without a juicy bottom

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Go down the "Les Wexner" rabbit hole if you want to learn the origins of the corrupt agenda behind JUICY pants.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 months ago*

    Wait is it real crimes with juicy? Should we be bootlegging sweat pants with "JUUCEY" on the booty?

    I just want to commit a Lil bit of gay crimes and run international guns with Stephen since that's cool now apparently. A dividual can dream.

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  • [–] 13 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Oh she's definitely noticed lol

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  • [–] 7 points 6 months ago

    I tried my wife's jacket on one. I looked like Shrek. Then accidentally ripped it. She gets to wear my clothes but I can't wear hers.

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago*

    Fucksquatch makes another appearance.

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago

    Just get your own sweats that say juicy on the ass potate. It's a rite of passage around a route of passage and I'm surprised you haven't completed it yet

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  • [–] 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    When you sleep over at your girl's house but you "forgot" your clothes 😌

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago
    [–] 5 points 6 months ago

    Forgot your clothes? Like, just accidentally drove to her house and showed up to the door naked?

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