Patient Zero

FYI this was last week, the cherry blossoms are basically gone now, 2 weeks earlier than last year. Here's a pic from 2 weeks ago.

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This is a good time to remember:

If it bites you and you die; venomous
If you bite it and you die; poisonous

Fuck yeah, patient zero! I was starting to loose hope that zombie apocalypse could beat out climate change, pollution, wealth inequality, and fascism. But it's back in the race!

This site is a treasure trove.

The “you might also like” section is absolutely right about me:

In Japan we say the crazies come out in spring. Glad we're still keeping that tradition alive.

man didn't tell she was of the poisonous type

So glad someone turned that news story into a terrible animated video!

We're fucked

Never bite your woman in a cherry blossom park in Japan.

And so it begins.

Cherry blossoms are symbolic of a short life, but he was 89, so it doesn't poetically apply here.

Rabies? /s

I don't think there's much of a mystery he was 89 years old and he was sort of dude to go around biting people

I really expected that to go the other way. A bite from an unkempt mouth on an older person just sounds like a great way to get sepsis.

Speaking of cherry blossoms, can anyone remember (or find) that greentext about the incel trying to get with a girl at the cherry blossoms?

It's really fucking long and the person does come across as fucking mental

She was poisonous, you see.

It was the man who died.

You wouldn't have to clarify that if you simply didn't follow the inane newspaper headline style that should be dead in the age of the web.

Bath salts

I think there may have been a trend of using cyanide or something like that as make-up powder for its unusual whitening properties.

Is she the reincarnation of chuck norris?