they don't have to wipe

I need more fiber in my diet :\

Boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime.

12 seconds to shit?

Not near enough time.

They don't have Wi-Fi

Don't you dare tell my boss that. Don't take my time away from me!!

Tonight's news, Amazon limit on bathroom break for 12 seconds based on this study.

Given my numbers, the median must be like 0.12 seconds. If your legs aren't asleep by the time you finish, did you even poop?

Look, it's not a race, okay?

But if it were, I lost.

I always told my teachers that I'm way above average but they never believed me....

VINDICATION!!

Tell that to the dog named Oliver who lives with me...I swear that guy will take like 5 to 7 minutes some days...sheesh

Tell that to Ron from Accounting

Is it longer if there is a dog staring at them the whole time?

TIL I am an extreme outlier.

Today I learned that I am well above average.

When everything is working as it should, it doesn't take me much longer. That's a rare day, though.

!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

My name is Constipation Georg and I live in a cave and take 12 hours to poop per day and I am an outlier and should not be counted in the averaged data

I can do half by having dragon fruit last night. I swear that thing is an artifect of poop god.

I feel sorry for the person(s) that had to watch in order to know this.

12 seconds? I struggle to finish in 12 minutes.

Damn IBS.

i'm just putting this out there, if you take too long to poop the toilet alligator gonna eat you

12 seconds to poop, sure, if you don't count all the time for bathroom clean up, a shower, laundry, etc...

Pooping itself might take 12 seconds, but if you consider that you have to go to the toilet in the first place, wipe the lid clean, sit down, relax enough to actually be able to poop, then poop, wipe, wipe again, wipe again, then wash hands ... it takes more like 5-15 minutes depending on what you ate yesterday.

I'm pretty high above average then. 😤

TIL I’m an average mammal.

Taco Bell: Hold my taco...

Toilets close the muscles- its much healther to poop on the floor.

Im jealous

ITT: Commode users who forgot the rest of the world is used to squat toilets lol

Prewipe, that’s about right.

I get enough fiber

Elephants poop for 45 minutes too??

Is this related to the 20 second mammalian pee rule?

I'll have you know I've won every poop race against an elephant I've ever participated in