Man I wish there was a comm for this meme or for these sorts of "what the fuck" questions that aren't quite ShowerThoughts material.

No, but I do it because I find it fun. I enjoy the sound it makes.

Here in the Pacific Northwest we don't use umbrellas. We are practically amphibious.

Umbrellas are for people who don't wear jackets with hoods. Also jackets with hoods are fire people who don't use umbrellas. It's a circular economy, really.

No, and keep your eyes on the road!

When I use matches I let them burn all the way through

(Yes, there is a technique to it and years of experience and burns)

what umbrella

Walk under a spot where it's raining harder? What does that mean? It's raining but there are spots of unmoving harder rain that you can walk under? What?

Who buys an umbrella? They give them out for free in those cans by the doors at cafes and whatnots.

While it's neat to feel the rain bounce off your umbrella, it also means your umbrella wears off faster.

And in this economy...

Used to stand under the edge of a roof that was streaming to give folks without a brella a head start at outrunning a soaking

Immediately what this reminded me of