The all-knowing, all-powerful god who created the entire universe has decided to hold back rain in your state. But maybe if you beg him hard enough and skip lunch he'll change his mind.

This is what these half-wits actually believe.

I’ll share this post to raise awareness, and send my thoughts and prayers. I’ve done my part. Should be fixed now.

If that doesn't work, I hear ritual sacrifice is pretty effective.

What’s the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan?

- George Carlin

Our Exxon, who art in Texas…

Here in Florida, a group of four southern women on a girls weekend were huddling under a beach hut during a thunderstorm, and got hit by lightning. All were knocked out, but otherwise only mildly injured. After, one of them was interviewed, and thanked God for saving them.

Thanked God? Honey, getting hit by lightning is God's preferred method of smiting those he dislikes. He tried to KILL YOU, why are you thanking him?

These ladies need to do some serious self-reflection in order to determine what they are doing to anger God so much. I suspect voting MAGA is part of it.

Praying wasn't working, but praying AND fasting might!

That'll do it.

Hey mormons: pray to that shiester that conned a bunch of people who pretended that a messianic jew from two-thousand years ago actually lived halfway around the world from Jerusalem. You're perfectly rational and your prayers can bring rain. /s

I know that my comment is stretching the headline. They aren't praying to Joseph Smith. I don't care. Leave me alone. Mormons are fucking stupid. Religious people are fucking stupid.

A little old fashioned shamanism should do it.

Sorry, not gonna happen. Your job is to take climate change seriously.

-God

Well Trump is now in charge of those weather making machine, why not just call him up.

Settled in an arid area with a giant salty lake because some murderous nut case said ot wss a good idea, then you gotta ask a god to make it rain where it usually doesn’t want to in the first place?

He might be on to something. You don't eat, you don't shit. You don't shit, you don't flush and therefore you save water.

Sorry, no! God has a plan, and the plan clearly is... NO WATER FOR YOU!!! Duh!

Maybe don’t live in a desert. Idiots.

Or pray for higher intelligence. Idiots.

Just turn on the faucet in Canada. Duh

Theocratic, Constitution-hating pieces of shit should be removed from office. That behavior is absolutely unacceptable.

they might want to ask god where the staff of moses is.

Honestly, after a big enough percentage of the kidnappers in my city are from Utah, I hope whatever hell is coming their way really sucks.

So he's asking his constituents to die in one more day.

Let's know when the bodies hit the floors.