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[–] 87 points 11 months ago (1 child)

Are you stupid?! I make 1 billion an hour repairing door hinges! What kind of fool takes this kind of "deal"

Scam! Release the door hinge files!

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  • [–] 52 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    Yes. I can spend those two hours watching door hinge repair videos on YouTube, I was going to do that anyway.

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  • [–] 28 points 11 months ago

    As long as I can break door hinges for those 2 hours, I'm good.

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  • [–] 24 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. "Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough????"

    And then the comments like "yes baby I'd love to 😋😍😉"

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  • [+] 20 points 11 months ago* (7 children)
  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)

    To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.

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  • [+] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    You don’t need wood glue? Just the toothpicks?

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  • [–] 14 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Plot twist, you're teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn't pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it

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  • [–] 14 points 11 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 13 points 11 months ago (5 children)

    "Name 10 things that aren't Jackie Chan!"

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  • [–] 14 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Uuuuhhh… Laptop, horse, Jackie Chan — Damn!

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    A piece of paper with number "1" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "2" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "3" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "4" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "5" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "6" written on it.
    A piece of paper with number "7" written on it.
    A piece of paper with "Jackie Chan" written on it.
    ...
    Damn it, I was so close

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    [–] 12 points 11 months ago

    WTF is this on about?

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

    I would simply use $250 million to buy replacement door hinges for the ones I can't fix during that time. Easy peasy.

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago (10 children)

    And how do I explain my income to federal agencies?

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Pretty sure there's no IRS anymore. Just give Trump some gold-plated turd and you get a no taxes season pass.

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  • [+] 3 points 11 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)
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    [–] 9 points 11 months ago (6 children)

    I work for a door company, that's going to be super difficult

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago

    I just honestly don't think I could. They say money can't buy happiness and it sure as hell can't buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you're in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.

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  • [–] 24 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    If I had half a billion dollars I can promise you I would be spending zero seconds of the rest of my life screwing in door hinges.

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  • [–] 11 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

    Right? It's like... let's see. I have half a billion dollars. I just noticed my door hinge isn't working correctly. Do I

    A. Attempt to fix it, requiring maybe a trip to the hardware store, but at the minimum some time and effort
    B. Ask my assistant to call someone and go back to playing video games

    I know what I'd do.

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago

    Like, I am not allowed to or I just physically can't?

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    what am unhinged proposition

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    Pro tip:

    If the holes in the door frame are wallowed out, jam some pieces of toothpick in there first, then put the hinge on and screw it in.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago

    Yeah, I didn't understand why people were going around talking about toothpicks when there is a thingy specifically made for the job.
    To use a toothpick, I would need to go out and buy a pack, while I already have a dozen of them plugs lying around in my house. In fact I got 2 more pieces, complementary with the a handheld mixer, because it had a wall-mount fitment.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Pretty sure it's been 5 years since I've meddled with any door hinge.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago*

    Replace your 'door' hinges with 'cabinet' or 'industrial maritime' hinges and your semantic loophole is set.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Two metric hours or two imperial hours?

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago

    What's the ruling on paying someone to fix a door hinge? Knowing my luck it's when the bathroom and front door comes off.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I'll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I'm going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don't have door hinges. Crazy enough?

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    truck doors have hinges. I have been known to fix those.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    Smoke a few joints and make a garden bed.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    Do I still get to grease squeaky hinges? If so, maybe a deal.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    What's this meme about?

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago
    [–] 2 points 11 months ago
    [–] 1 point 11 months ago

    We are in that age, huh

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago

    for those who need to hear this, you can fix/adjust automatic door closers with just a screwdriver. Google a tutorial and go nuts at your job fixing all your minor inconveniences!!

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