“I had a castle, then I got ruined in the S&L collapse in the 80s. I did eat a few of those bankers, though.”

yhea, because being immortal makes you immune to global financial crisis.

you vamphobic twat.

This is what the sensitivity training was about. You can be immortal but still only like 37.

pursuing the perfect cup of tea

It’s a skill issue by the 2nd or 3rd generation you live through, honestly.

If you’re immortal

Yeah can't find any stories that don't have him alive for hundreds of years before the castle.

You know, there's probably a movie in that somewhere...

Dracula beginnings.

Wife dies, leads him to learning dark arts, accidentally turns himself into a vampire instead of reanimating his wife, he works his way up through the aristocracy as an assassin, slowly grows tired of humanity, perhaps a little evil, and slowly kills/controls his way into the aristocracy.

Most fiction that has a society of vampires portrays it this way. It wouldn't make sense for every single one of them to be a count who lives in their own castle.