The topic always changes. You miss your chance. It bugs you so much that you hang onto the thought for weeks, months, or years, and bring it up promptly at the next opportunity.

"We talked about banana peels four years ago?"

"Almost five."

"And, you waited for it to come up again to say that banana peels are used in water purification?"

"... yeah?"

"..."

Slowly realizing The Thought probably isn't very related anyway and probably no one ever likes hearing all the dumb shit you have to say.

Sometimes I wonder how much this is a symptom of AuDHD specifically. ADHD people cannot hold "The Thought" but often just go with the flow anyway and it's not as important. ASD peeps can hold "The thought" and feel the pressure to express it. AuDHD people simultaneously cannot hold it and feel the pressure to express it.

I have an autistic friend that I will have 4-5 hr conversations with because we both do this and it results in the conversation starting over 20 times because we just have to spit out that thought. And every time it starts over the conversation gets derailed on some other wild tangent. It's like reading a "choose your own adventure" book but you keep flipping back to different choices because you just HAVE to know what every possible path can lead to.

Both of our spouses have learned that if we start talking they had better just cancel all plans for the evening because we are going to be going all night.

*while also trying to listen to the others

Not to mention also hoping that it doesn't just bounce out of your brain when the next thought pops in

and also trying not to make strained facial expressions

Sometimes I'll have a joke related to the topic and am waiting to deliver it. Then the topic changes and it doesn't work anymore. Only I know how good the joke was, and I carry that to my grave

Meanwhile you get anxious about losing track of the conversation due to focusing too much on the thought causing you to do exactly that, thereby completely missing any opportunity to express said thought.

Stop listening to respond and this won't happen. Actively listen and you'll always have something to add, at the end, when it's you're turn to speak.

Edit: Look y'all, I've been dealing with my ADHD unmedicated for over 20 years and I have to say sometimes you need to listen to the neurotypicals. Just because conversation skills like "active listening" don't come natural to you doesn't mean you should just discount the advice as neurotypical nonsense. Use those beautiful powers of observation and pattern reconition intentionally: listen, parse, connect back to context, respond. Believe it or not, you don't need to have a response ready immediately, and most folks appreciate a few seconds of silence as it shows them you care enough to respond genuinely rather than just speaking.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

I silently recite this to myself.

But now I just end up blurting out, "FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER."