Yeah, I’m sure to pay my protection money.

Haha this was good fun.

They reel out of the sky at you like they’re barrelling out of a nightclub bathroom wearing a floral shirt open to the navel, beaks atwitch, roaring a garbled query that sounds disturbingly like: “What did you just say to me?”

"Try a different route next time" (moron)

lol

Beat the shit out of them when they swoop, a few cracks in the head and they start thinking twice about swooping you.

I started doing that over a decade ago, the magpies near my house don't do shit to me anymore.

This article is fun but it's like 90% irreverent filler.

Keep safe by visiting https://www.magpiealert.com/ and see where the most coked up ones were last spotted.