Guy is gonna look back on this moment for the rest of his life and kick himself

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[–] 84 points 1 year ago (6 children)

That Bieber cut was the broccoli top of its day.

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  • [–] 63 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Bieber hair is so default man that it was the second hair piece Lego ever made, back in 1979. Back then, it was called Beatles hair.

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    Bieber's first album didn't release until 2010. This look was just fairly ubiquitous among teens and 20s hearthrobs in the 2000s. Note the boot cut jeans that you would never catch Bieber wearing.

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  • [–] 54 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    As someone who lived through 2006, I can assure you I would have enjoyed being in this situation then just as much as I would now, possibly more.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago* (4 children)

    If you lived through 2006 then you're too old to enjoy having a couple of highschool goths fawn over you 🚔👮‍♂️🫵

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  • [–] 48 points 1 year ago (25 children)

    Man this hits different when you know what Drake was going through at that time

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago (24 children)

    For those who don't... care to enlighten us?

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  • [–] 74 points 1 year ago (17 children)

    Drake was a victim of sexual assault by his acting coach during his time at Nickelodeon. Dan Schneider was also the creator and producer of the show. There’s a Netflix documentary on how bad things got.

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  • [+] 27 points 1 year ago (15 children)
  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (12 children)

    Abusers often are "paying forward" abuse they suffered.

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  • [+] -13 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    Nice demonizing of survivors based on some shit you read once and gave no further thought to

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago

    I didn't suggest that people who are abused tend to go down this path, I'm saying of those that abuse others, they themselves were likely abused.

    I don't know the percentage, but hypothetically if 2% of people abused go on to abuse others, this would be true without even saying anything about 98% of abused people.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    "Hurt people hurt people" is a common saying for a reason; dealing with trauma is difficult and not dealing with it often leads to problems.
    That's not to say that victims always become victimizers, it's to say that the cycle of violence often begins with violence.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Oh wow, common sayings, the bastion of fact.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Hey, we've got an edgelord over here. Hey everyone, look at the edgelord! He's edging!

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    They’re not being an edgelord, they’re just being sarcastic. And they’re right to question it because the only source I know of on the question states that there is no statistical correlation (Lundy Bancroft).

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago

    You mean the other reply you gave me where you either misquoted it or you misunderstood the study? And you artificially limited the scope to a single kind of hurt which wouldn't even capture the kind of hurt we're discussing here?
    Actually I tried to find the study that you're talking about and I can't find it. Did he actually do a study on this? Afaict he is just a self-help author. I cant even find any formal education related to the subject.

    Meanwhile if you do a quick search for if unresolved trauma leads to violence, you see a ton of research supporting that.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    According to domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft, it’s about 50/50. So as far as we know, there is no correlation.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    This is statistics my guy. It doesn't mean they are read people. It means they need help.

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  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Per Quiet on Set, at roughly that time in his life he was

    CW: CSAbeing regularly raped and otherwise abused by Dialogue Coach Brian Peck who worked for Nickelodeon at the time

    Wikipedia: Drake Bell

    Wikipedia: Brian Peck

    Wikipedia: Quiet on Set

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  • [–] 29 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    They fear the pegging. Cowards

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  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    It's like that movie She's Out of My League where we're supposed to buy Krysten Ritter as the ugly friend.

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Because girls have cooties. Didn't you know this???

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago

    I mean, looking at the guy here this tracks with what high school was like in my day. Preppies and Goths were sworn enemies.

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  • [+] 258 points 1 year ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (24 children)
  • [–] 88 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Reminds me of the double standard with teacher sexual abuse. Male teacher abuses student, pedophile. Female teacher abuses student, "wish I was him" (unless she was deemed ugly, and even then).

    Things don't change much, although it doesn't help when people forget men can be victimized, too.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    “wish I was him”

    that's just facts

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  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    I occasionally wonder whether this is universal. Are there any countries that generally recognize sexual assault regardless of circumstance or sex?

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  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Iceland probably has the best track record. Their culture, size, location, etc just add up to make a country where workers rights, freedom of speech and equality is very good.

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Plus with almost everyone being related, men don't have to play that “imagine it was your sister or daughter” game to generate empathy for women. /s

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    I mean, they do have that app specifically to check for relation. I can imagine there are some fun games that can be played while you're out at a party. "Hey, dude, check out that dude over there. Bet you I can get his number."

    "You're on, and I'll bet he's within four degrees of cosanguinity."

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Yeah thats why i also listed size. It really is a unique country that maybe more places should take notes from... but its hard to implement something similar because their history and location also causes this situation.

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  • [–] -3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

    assault

    We're calling intimidation/harassment assault now? That's histrionic.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Well, yes. Sexual assault is a catch all.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    dictionary entry

    assault

    noun
    a violent attack

    legal definitionIn common law An attempt with force or violence to do a corporal injury to another; may consist of any act tending to such corporal injury, accompanied with such circumstances as denotes at the time an intention, coupled with present ability, of using actual violence against the person.

    or "reasonable apprehension of the immediate application of force to the victim".

    No.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    “Assault” varies in definition by jurisdiction and circumstance. Pulling a conversation about sexual assault into the weeds is, frankly, a strange move, but go on with your bait.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    Definitions predominantly involve violence, physical force, or reasonable & immediate expectation of it. I'm not a big fan of distorting ideas with loaded language: the bait was theirs.

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    [–] 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    reminds me when I was in fifth or six grade and two girls a grade or two older than me would constantly find me in the hallways between classes, corner me, and either start hitting on me, or say flirty shit about me to each other just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough that it left me wondering if they were doing it intentionally.

    I didn't like it and I wanted it to stop, but I remember feeling really conflicted about wanting to do anything about it because it was also kinda validating at the same time, and I was definitely a weird kid that needed validation at the time. Honestly can't remember too much more about it, genuinely not sure if I spoke up or not at this point.

    But to this day if I hear some people speaking to each other in hushed tones and giggling and shit, it can still bring me back to that feeling of not being sure if some other people are talking about and laughing at me.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I wonder if this is a common experience because I've had basically the exact same thing happen to me. It's like it feels inauthentic but also they're saying nice stuff that no one ever does so I don't really want to tell them to stop...

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    That's what makes it so fucked up, like we were really eager to feel validated that we let it come from insincere, weaponized places, and that's kinda the point of it

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Yeah worst part is it makes you unsure later if people are just pretending or not. In college I wouldn't trust people weren't just pretending to like being around me as a joke :/ takes a while of actually being appreciated to get over it..

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    [+] 45 points 1 year ago (10 children)
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    What if they were just doing it to make fun?

    I remember being in gym class, secondary school a few decades ago and these two sexually prolific girls for lack of a better term, moderately popular, who would spend gym classes flirting and basically sexually molesting? (Idk what term to use when clothes are on) this nerdy kid most days in gym. Teacher only seemed to laugh when he noticed.

    They would feel him up and tell him his balls were small or penis was crooked. It was fucked up.

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  • [+] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago* (2 children)

    As someone who went through much less bad bullying, it's fucked up. What do you even do? Punch back? That works for same-sex bullies, but if you hit a girl hard enough to be afraid of you/have some respect for you, you're the bad guy for hitting a girl. Ignore it? Contrary to popular belief, that makes bullies bolder, because they get to have fun without consequences. The only thing that kind of worked was avoiding bullies, and if you can't, wait until there are no witnesses around, and then make sure to get the first good punch in, so that they'd think twice next time. Kids fucking suck. Man, am I happy to not be in school any more.

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    As a middle schooler, I thought the idea of nonconsensual harassment was pretty hot. I still feel that way, but I thought it back then too.

    Still don't think such should be tolerated just because I liked it. Also, when there's a credible threat vs minimal in-school harassment, its a lot scarier (although its still hot).

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  • [–] 34 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    ...then I grew up, and realized you can have consensual harassment.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    This was kind of me in early high school. There was this badass goth chick who, looking back, was very likely "flirting" with me quite a bit. Admittedly, I had my own absurd style that definitely had shades of goth too.

    I recall she bit my arm so hard she drew blood... on more than one occasion. I absolutely had a thing for her so I didn't mind. She was a grade or two older and had a boyfriend who was either from another town, dropped out, or already graduated. I'd never met or seen him though. Me and her did hang out a few times in random secluded places after school or during down time but nothing romantic ever happened - just talking.

    Looking back on it as a more mature adult, and vaguely recalling her stories, I am pretty sure she had a fucked up childhood and home life. I wouldn't be surprised if the boyfriend situation was more fucked up than I realized.

    Shortly after graduating high school, I met some people who actually knew the guy (he had allegedly been their dealer a few years prior lol) and apparently I looked a lot like him, only I was a few inches taller and less skinny. The number of times I was mistaken for him was crazy. I guess she had a type? I hope she's doing ok.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    NGL I've had to fight off some thirsty ladies before, it's disgusting when they just can't take a hint.

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  • Which series was this? Asking for a friend.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    What would I even SAY to goth baddies?

    "Hey do you like tabletop? I do, I like playing Barbarians because it makes me feel strong"

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  • [+] -12 points 1 year ago

    Both genders 9/10 they were trendies about 6 months ago with 0 personality. You didn't miss out

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