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Nation capable of spotting spurious link between paracetamol and autism still baffled by obvious link between guns and mass shootings (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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The United States has once again demonstrated its unique talent for scientific deduction by confidently declaring there may be a link between pregnant women taking paracetamol and children developing autism, while continuing to insist that the 600-plus mass shootings a year have absolutely nothing to do with everyone owning a bloody gun. President Donald Trump, speaking at a press conference with RFK Jnr and his brainworm, announced that Tylenol (the American word for paracetamol, because “paracetamol” contains too many syllables) “could” be responsible for autism. Experts responded by patiently explaining that the evidence is flimsy, research is ongoing, and maybe he should stick to real evidence that everyone understands, such as the evidence presented at his fraud trial. “That’s correlation,” said one baffled scientist, “but not causation. If only we could get the American public to apply the same basic principle to mass shootings, where the correlation is so strong we might as well only plot one line on the graph.” [...]

Archived: https://web.archive.org/web/20250924054737/https://newsthump.com/2025/09/23/nation-capable-of-spotting-spurious-link-between-paracetamol-and-autism-still-baffled-by-obvious-link-between-guns-and-mass-shootings/

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[–] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To be fair...the US has a fuck-ton of lead in the drinking water.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Source?

    This one compares lead in the blood, and the US is apparently better than most of the world. This one compares lead in drinking water in the US, and most of the country is fine (<= 15 ppb) and a few areas are not fine (>100ppb, some up to 330ppb). I didn't see a direct comparison of lead levels in drinking water, so I don't know what's common in places like Europe, but the US generally seems fine.

    If you have some kind of source, I'd love to look at it.

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    • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    One thing that rampant gun violence and the inaccessibility of basic health care have in common is that their negative impact disproportionately affects poor people.

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    [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    But, but...

    Apparently it means that they're free

    (they're free to compensate for a nation of tiny, shrivelled cocks, that's about it)

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    [+] -13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    Meh. A columbine equivalent in terms of deaths happens in the ghetto every day but since it doesn't affect uppity white liberals they don't care. They need to cry about AR-15s despite handguns killing 60x as many people.

    EDIT: Just proving my point further that white liberals are allergic to looking in a mirror or acknowledging they're wrong. White supremacy in gun control talks is alive and well, it seems.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    Exactly!

    Regulators see "gun deaths" or "gun violence" and jump to scary-looking guns like "assault rifles," which are functionally equivalent (fire the same rounds, can have the same capacity) as rifles they're completely fine with since they look like hunting rifles. Then you look at the stats and the vast majority of gun deaths are suicide and gang violence, which are almost exclusively handguns.

    The real solution to these problems isn't even gun regulation IMO, but economic help and mental health access to people in under-served communities. We need better access to good schools, more contact w/ therapists, etc, restricting guns will just change the nature of how gangs operate and which methods suicidal people use, it doesn't solve the root problem.

    We may need some gun control changes, but the stats they point to don't match the policies they propose.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    All of this. Especially the second half.

    Unfortunately there's a lot of people on Lemmy that'd rather shove their fingers in their ears and refuse to hear the socioeconomic causes of violent crime simply because it'd mean they don't have to demonize guns anymore

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    I think it's incredibly insulting to say people are killing others because they have guns. No, there's another reason for it, and we need to solve that.

    Look at suicide rates, they're pretty similar between the US and western European countries, higher than some and lower than others. People aren't killing themselves because they have guns, they're doing it because they're desperate and see other option to end the pain, and they'd use another method if a gun wasn't available.

    Likewise for gangs, they're not killing each other because they have guns, they're doing it to hide their crimes or eliminate competition. If they didn't have guns, they'd use another method. The US has more of that vs other countries, not because of guns, but because the social safety net and incarceration rates (esp. recidivism) are worse. If people have better options than joining a gang, they'll do that

    Gun crime is more a symptom than the problem.

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    • 38 comments in c/theonion@midwest.social view that post
    [–] 34 points 1 year ago

    Meanwhile, other developed nations looked on in astonishment as America effortlessly invented a new medical panic while continuing to treat daily gun massacres as if they were quirky local traditions, like cheese rolling or baseball.

    Got a chuckle out of me.

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    [–] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)

    I've gotten so insanely tired of all the random bullshit this vaguely human shaped sack of refuse, and all his cronies keeps spouting. They say inane shit, and that gets blasted left and right, while they do all sorts of underhanded evil bullshit behind the curtain of nonsense they just put up.

    While we're laughing at idiotic ideas like "curing autism" and "paracetamol causes autism" we're playing right into their fucking hands. This is the nonsensical "4D chess" they're talking about. It's not even funny at this point.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    My biggest thing recently is how, for years, trump has said the news is fake but has never once put effort into higher accountability for anyone calling themselves news.

    For a long time, it's been more about pushing out a story first with very little fact-checking.

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    • [–] 39 points 1 year ago (18 children)

    I mean, it can't be the guns. Guns don't kill people. It must be the bullets. Those are what will kill ya.

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  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    Since politicians seem to care more about this fully survivable condition than the #1 cause of death for children and teenagers, maybe someone should invent a bullet that gives kids autism. They'll finally implement some gun control then.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    I would be willing to compromise with the 2A fanatics by implementing background checks on bullet purchases, instead of gun purchases.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    You can make your own bullets.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    You can also make your own gun.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Yes but doing so is a lot more complicated and error-prone. Most people don't have metal smithing equipment at home, or the space or training to use it to manufacture a useful gun. Plus operating an unregistered firearm is illegal in most places.

    By contrast you can just buy an ammo reload kit with all the necessary tools. You can do this at a dining table or a desk or a kitchen counter, it doesn't take a lot of space, and you can learn to do it in an afternoon. And it's legal in the US to own those kits and pack your own ammo, and you don't need a license to reload for personal use, only for distributing.

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    • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Ironically I think if Trump could get away with banning guns, now he probably would.

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    [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    I'll never get tired of the scathing criticisms of Trump elegantly written by people smarter than him.

    But I am tired of nothing getting done. Criticism is great but I want something to change. Something more than words in an article.

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    [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    oh give them credit. theyre still closer to finding a link to gun violence than tylenol. i mean they HAVE been injecting bleach into their veins for 3 years.

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    [–] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    We used to have guns but few mass shootings. The obvious link is between the accelerated impoverishment & corrosion of society by an increasingly greedy capitalist oligarchy and outbreaks of violence.

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    • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    I got yer lead prescription right here, pal. You won't even have to go to the doctor to get your shots. Take two and call me in the morning.

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    [–] 2 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    If

    Gun don't kill people, people do

    Then

    Paracetamol don't cause autism, doctor did

    Shouldn't we start banning doctor now?

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I think your logical coprocessor needs some medication

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Do i really have to slap /s in every jab i did to conservative?

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