Thank you. Both, I guess. She broke the one non-negotiable rule of our marriage, after being given another chance. This has always been in my mind as a reasonable possibility. I've rehearsed this moment repeatedly.

I do not hate her, I hope to split amicably, but we are done. I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I let this slide a second time.

I don't know what to say to my stepkid, though. He doesn't know yet. He's only recently calmed down and built more trust with her since the first time. And we need to tell him, as this has bearing on who will keep the rental (we both have means to move, it comes down to who he'd prefer to stay with for his last year of college). Fuck - I don't even want to think about the extra stress this is going to cause him...

Thank you. Here's hoping.

We were going to take a vacation in Mexico, a little after the actual anniversary. I was hoping it was going to be a nice bonding experience, but oh well, not to be.

This is useful context if you want more detail - was intentionally vague on timelines in this post but it was within the first 5 years of marriage: https://sh.itjust.works/comment/18349778

Reiterates the importance that the guilty party actually needs to reform for anything in that post to mean fuck all.

I appreciate your well-wishes.