Not impossible but more pain than it's probably worth, unless you really want to dive in for the experience and challenge:

Here is a solution to enable laptop bottom case keyboards as USB keyboards using a Teensy microcontroller. The author has tested a wide variety of keyboard models, including Dell Inspiron, HP Presario, Sony Vaio, and IBM / Lenovo ThinkPad.

A typical laptop keyboard relies on the motherboard for the scanning circuitry. I use a Teensy microcontroller mounted on a connector board to take over this function.

https://hackaday.com/2018/12/04/teensy-liberates-the-thinkpad-keyboard/

Frank Adams liked the keyboard on his Lenovo ThinkPad T61 so much that he decided to design an adapter so he could use it over USB with the Teensy microcontroller. He got the Trackpoint working, and along the way managed to add support for a number of other laptop boards as well. Before you know it, he had a full-blown open source project on his hands.

Links for this project:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1PheqSNNP8

https://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-a-USB-Laptop-Keyboard-Controller/

https://github.com/thedalles77/USB_Laptop_Keyboard_Controller 

Put it in a laptop

You might consider testing its viability as a Frisbee.

A hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl!

Smash the fash?

It would be trivial to use as an ugly external keyboard for a compatible laptop, but to use it as USB is probably not as easy as hooking it to a standard motherboard header so it'll cost more than a cheap keyboard to get working.

I'm curious what happened to the rat of the laptop?

Install Skyrim on it to appease the Todd Howard?

Or Doom if you worship the Romero.

A bit cliché and it might not look great around the handle, but wash it and wrap it (trim it?) around a tall+wide enough mug?

No