"You should have held that... pickle, more firmly, Mr. Freeman"

When I pause my rpg (DQ3 2DHD, which doesn’t have a standard pause screen) to go do something, and I’ve left my group in front of a item vendor, so in the game, they’re just standing there for 30 minutes awkwardly in front of the vendor.

“Player just walk away from the console?”

“Sigh, yeah, asshole does it all the time. We’re just lucky we’re in town this time.”

“Fucking hell, player must’ve left you in some bad places, I’d imagine.”

“Side of a mountain once. For two fucking hours, in the middle of the night, in these clothes. That silk robe the priestess is wearing doesn’t do shit for mountain-side nighttime temperatures, goddammit! … Oh thank fuck, they're back. See you later, potion seller.”

(I’m the captain of the USS Callister, btw.)

if youre frozen in time, doesnt that imply that your neurons and the cell activity that feeds them are frozen too, and thus that you cant think to perceive being so frozen anyway?

Unfun fact:

A lot of that infomercial gear is originally invented as a disability aid, and has to go for this fringe market to get manufactured if a big medical equipment supplier doesn’t license it. You either make a tool that can do something big like helping a maimed soldier fight again, or your disability aid gets a silly-seeming commercial that mocks the difficulties faced by the people that the gadget’s creator was attempting to help.

Doesn't seem very private to me😧

Fuck that got dark quick. Nothing is worse that dropping a slippery pickle.