Even if you think you’re alone, the Divine knows when you’re blastin rope to Waluigi hentai

I worked with a guy named Braxton. We called him Braxton the Obliterator.

Sorry! Will switch off the light next time 👋

I hate how everyone misses the point of this story. It's not that he beat off its that he was legally married to his dead brothers wife and then told he had to have a son with that woman by God, then he pulled out. Reading the full text and it's more apparent God is pissed about not being listened to than the actual actions.

If he didn't want us to fap, he wouldn't have given us arms juuust long enough to reach the junkyard. Also he'd given us hoofs instead of hands with the grip strength of a tiger's jaw. Finally, foreskin and clit are like the perfect mechanisms go get off oneself. Evolutionary that barely makes sense so it must be the gift of a diety of some sort.

Even got the big guy in the right colour 🙏🏾

"Aiden, can you go get Buckley's things so we aren't late for Jayleigh's recital? Braxton and Kayleigh will be there"

“Go man, go!”

Is there even a town of Braxton? Nearest I can find is Brixton, which is a perfectly legitimate mononym for an Idris Elba character.

Now I'm imagining twins named "Braxton" and "Hicks," preemies born when Momma mistook actual labor for mere contractions.

Also, uh, am I the only pervert seeing cloud-titties in the foreground?

27rapes? Na! That's presidential!

https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/49344563