With my first kid, finding the balance between “my kid wants/needs something” and “I want/need something else”.

I am not talking about discipline, but of managing practical situations like my kid wanting to go to the park and me wanting to go to the library, or my kid wanting/needing to be spoon fed while I also would like to eat. Somehow, it is expected of mothers to self-immolate for the kid, but (if not absolutely necessary) that is not good for anyone.

Finding how much I could do what I wanted versus what my kid wanted has been and still is a process that my partner doesn’t seem to have to go through.