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[–] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Sloth. Minimal effort, and stress is dangerous to me.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 weeks ago

    I'm a cat person by nature, would like to sleep 16 hours a day but they keep poking me to do stuff :)

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Bonobo. Relaxed, family groups, have fun and adventures

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago

    Three-toed tree sloth. I’m just tired, man.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago

    Gorilla. Commonly assumed to be big grumpy angry murder guys, actually goofballs who just eat plants and mess around all day.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    I'm gonna go with the red panda. They're thick, they're fluffy, they love to eat, and their murder mittens are basically just for show.

    Top result on YouTube. I only watched the first minute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGZJhEJpgmg

    Fun little game. Ask a child (I guess between the ages of 4 and 10) what they think the cutest animal in the world is. Don't let them answer right away. Make them think about it for a while and let them get back to you. Maybe they go look up cute animals on YouTube. Maybe they look up one of those animal books for kids. They usually come back and say something like koala, or if they didn't really think about it, they say dog/puppy or cat/kitten (because they're thinking about their pet), or some other pet they've personally encountered.

    So then you show them that video, or some other video about the red panda. Now due to the way a kid's mind works (one track mind), they'll probably go about a week saying the red panda is now the cutest animal they've seen... but it also kinda is. Koalas, baby dogs/cats, and some rodents do offer a bit of competition, but anything cute they do, the red panda has them beat. You're less likely to convince a kid who picked a fish or a bird, but almost none of them do.

    I didn't pick the red panda here because it's cute. I'm not. Really. I clean up okay... to like a 5/10. Average at best. But I'm good with that. I just tend to be good-natured and cheerful, either because I actually am, or I'm not and I'm trying to fake it 'til I make it.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    Ask a child (I guess between the ages of 4 and 10) what they think the cutest animal in the world is

    Mom's friends' daughter selected a beaver out of many images of animals, and confidently confirmed that she's sure about the choice 🙂

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago

    Take a guess

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago

    Sasquatch.

    What? I just want to be alone in the woods, but people keep taking nude pics of me without consent.

    Less unseriously, I have been called a teddy bear, and have been likened to a grizzly waking from hibernation to find it has developed hemorrhoids that are now throbbing. So I suspect that I may well actually be closer to the latter most days.

    More in keeping with the spirit of the question, I suspect that I'm closer to that old hunting dog that just wants to nap by the fire, but still loves its people, so it'll thump its tail when they talk to it, but would really prefer to not have to get up. But will if they really want me to. But I'll grumble as I start moving.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago

    Dog. I'll sleep most of the day if I can, but I'll also play hard, and am treat motivated.

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  • Melanistic leopard

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    When I'm high I like to fidget with stuff in my hands. So an otter with their favorite stones is my vibe.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    I honestly think I'm a donkey/Gorilla hybrid

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago

    Larry David. It starts off with polite hellos, quickly degenerates to "Fuck you".

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (4 children)
  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago* (3 children)

    Angry, syphilitic drug addict?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago

    Canada Lynx.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago

    Golden Retriever.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago*

    My wife calls me a golden retriever, and she's not the only one, so I'll have to go with that. No think, only affection!

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