all 23 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 74 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

“Don’t be a hero.” Fucking got me.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 43 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Be sure to include the classic "I'm not driving, I'm traveling". Works 100% of the time.

    When in doubt, assure them that they, too, can learn all about this on the Internet.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 24 points 3 weeks ago

    What are your intentions with my rights? 😂

  • source
  • [–] 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 15 points 3 weeks ago

    Cop asks "where are you going?"

    Point forward and say "this way".

  • source
  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago

    “Good cunternoon afstable” is a UK classic.

  • source
  • [–] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I would say at least 3 of these.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

    #2 is close to being spot-on actually.

    If you get pulled over and the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?", it's kind of a trick question.

    You can't say "Yes", because that implies you knew you were breaking the law with intent. You can't say "No" because that implies you weren't paying attention. (Reckless driving)

    Answer a question with a question: "Why did you pull me over, officer?" You aren't giving out any information and you can't actually explain someone else's decision. It may get the cop a little miffed if his intention was to trap you in a generic one-way conversation.

    If you aren't comfortable with that, just don't say anything. Politely refuse to answer any questions so you don't incriminate yourself.

    Edit: Go to a carwash after that as many cops will tag your car with a fingerprint as they walk up to your window from behind your car. I get why they do it, but its better just to clean it off anyway.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 10 points 3 weeks ago

    "wanna watch porn?" is another good one

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago

    "Name every policy"

  • source
  • [–] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    "Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law"

    "Your body?"

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago

    Do you know why I pulled you over?

    Because you didn't realize I have 3 cameras backed up remotely?

  • source
  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago*