All sex is ranked and competitive, the opposite of casual is formal, doing the hokey cokey with someone you have a contract with, like your wife or your boss.

What about Business Casual Sex?

I mean, there are definitely avenues to go pro.

The DRM on competitive sex is really annoying though, practically excludes Linux users.

What about Arcade Sex and Custom Sex?

There a speed event? Cause I’ll kick ass in that.

Isn't that the porn industry?

So, just porn?

It exists. A few years ago, it was supposed to be arranged in a venue in Sweden, but the event was cancelled for some reason. Apparently, there are judges that judge based on different factors, like quality of foreplay and sensuality. So apparently not a race, but more like a dancing competition.

I really don't know, and I'm just paraphrasing what was mentioned on a radio broadcast back then.

"Fast casual sex" implies the existence of "michelin rated sex".

Competitive sex is porn. They literally give out awards every year in Vegas.

I know that's a thing at the Texas ren fest.

I'm in the 100m dash, trying to get sub 10s.

It's graded on speed, endurance, technique and style

I'm ranked at Bronze I after a decade or so playing.

We have that. AVN announces winners every year.

I know it’s just a joke and I know I’m taking this way too seriously but the “ thing implies the existence of thing” meme really annoys me, because no it doesn’t imply that at all.

Tinder

I was high once and had the idea that masturbation could be an olympic sport. Even worked out the scoring metrics. For men it would be based on duration, and distance/volume, and for women it would be based on style points for Dildo use/ girth/length taken etc.

I WAS HIGH AT THE TIME, FFS Relax. I don't need a litany of how disgusting that is.

Just ask Debbie and Bonnie Blue!

Look I have a Master Guardian Elite rank in sex. I don't know if I could handle Global Elite.

My best streak was 6 hours!--not actually a joke, not sure what I was thinking but it was funny when she fell asleep on the toilet.

And further, the inevitability of sexually transmitted diarrhea.