Motherfucker's got s t a n c e.

Looks like a shell-less tortoise

It's cuz they didn't have refrigerators back then. This is what happens when you leave dough out too long and weird things grow on it.

So it's a fat tortoise?

Komodo turtle.

Fucking good. I don’t wanna have to feel bad for punting this creature across the wilderness when it jumpscares me

Is that a reverse tortoise? An esiotrot?