Weird suggestion, but I suggest you dye it.

It was already here: https://lemmy.world/post/52327214

Motion to change “new” belt to “large” belt.

Get a leather awl and make it fit

Learn from my mistake.

When you go to buy a belt and it says 34", that means it's 34 inches. Not "This is the belt to buy if your pants size is 34"

$100?!? Where TF you shopping?

There is a community for dad jokes!

I get it!

But also if you guys haven’t heard of ratchet belts you should try them.

I once tried to make my belt longer by attaching my watch to it. That was a waist of time.

It’s a phat pun

"I just spent a hundred dollars on a new belt, but I had to throw it away because it didn't fit. You know, it's not so much that I spent that much money that bothers me, it's the huge waste."

I think it could be improved from that, but that's the direction I'd take it in. :)