I'm sorry, is this some sort of caster joke that I'm too unga bunga to understand?

Oh come now, challenges like this make you character more memorable, interesting, unique... and squishy.

I absolutely do not enjoy big random in character essentials for long games. If it's a one shot, fine, I'll have some fun with the 12 int wizard or the clumsy rogue. I don't want to be stuck mechanically underpowered for months, maybe years, due to the whims of a tiny portion of dice rolls.

As for "but flaws make interesting characters", yes, but there are systems that do it so much better. A character's Trouble in Fate, or dramatic failures in CofD come to mind. I've ported both of those over to DND and it worked fine, so you don't even have to change whole systems.

In ye olden days a wizard could expect to have ~13 HP at level 5, assuming they didn’t also roll terribly for Con. Rejoice that no one gets d4 hit dice anymore!

I've played an old veteran warrior for 14 levels. The only time I rolled above the average was before the last session.

Then he died.